Seriously? (Alterac Valley Zerg Edition)

So I was running an AV last night because I need a couple more emblems to get another 30/30/30 PVP mount before Patch 3.3.3 hits and wipes out the Marks of Honor.  (I don’t collect mounts, but I do think the black PVP mounts are kinda cool, and since I am effectively honor capped for the foreseeable future, I don’t have any better use for the marks.)

As the raid is buffing up in the cave on the south side of AV, somebody in BG chat proclaims the presence of a tank, and quickly orders that we all zerg Vann.  Since I only needed 2 AV marks, I decided to depart from my typical AV activities (crazy stuff like capping towers and graveyards) and support the zerg.

So we get all the way north and the tank rolls straight into Vann without so much as checking to see if any healers (or DPS) are with him.  Luckily for him, I was there, and managed to get a Pain Suppression off, giving the other couple healers and myself time to heal him back up to full.

We keep doing our healing thing until one by one, all of the healers get whirlwinded by the Marshalls, and the tank finally drops with Vann at 7%.

And then people start going off in BG chat about how the heals are sooo fail.


OK listen up fcuktards: if you are going to run an AV zerg you need to understand that someone has to keep the Marshalls away from your healers, or its going to be a wipe!

There is this little aspect of the game called threat.  (I know most of you WotLK babies are not familiar with it, since Blizzard buffed tank AOE threat to ridiculous levels in Wrath, but it still exists.)  And when you have 3-4 healers bombing heals on a tank, they are going to generate a pretty massive amount of threat.

So much threat, in fact, that the Marshalls in Vann’s posse will very quickly decide that they would rather go bash a healer’s face in, rather than taking some swings at the tank who Thunderclapped them once (and too often only once) at the start of the fight.

Even healers who have fully talented threat reduction talents like Silent Resolve (like me), and proactively hit Fade (like me), will still manage to aggro one or more of the Marshalls if they aren’t offtanked. 

And when a healer grabs aggro on a Marshall, just as day follows night, that healer will die.

And what happens boys and girls when the healers die because mobs are running loose in the raid one-shotting the healers?  The tank goes down.

I mean seriously, how do you think that we got Vann down to 7% with 4 Marshalls assisting him?  Do you honestly think that the tank and the DPS did that all by themselves with absolutely no healing support?  Are you that fcuking retarded?  Without 3-4 healers, that tank would have died in under 5 seconds. 

Or maybe you think that the healers were just standing around admiring the skill of Vann’s interior decorator instead of healing?  Seriously? 

FYI – the tank died because all of his healers were dead, not because they were bad healers.  In fact, the very last person in that zerg to hit the floor was actually, zomg, the tank! 

How could the fcuking healers be fail when the tank was the last fcuking person to die you goddamn idiots?

I so wish I had screenshotted the comments from that battleground, so I could post armory links to the brain-dead sons of bitches that spent the rest of the battleground dissing the healers.  Sadly I was too busy trying to, you know, actually heal people, and win the battleground to capture the stream of ignorance that was flowing last night.

If you want to run an AV zerg, please have a basic understanding of the mechanics of the game, or else just STFU already.  Seriously!



1 comment so far

  1. holymonkey on

    HAHA dude.. this post cracked me up so much.. i have the same issues on bloodlust battlegroup with my disc priest. some BG players are indeed fucktards. !Zerg!Fail

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